Church of the Almighty Dollar, Universal and Triumphant
Money used to be material: gold and silver. But gradually its material basis was taken away, and now the dollar is based only on our belief in it. We have a faith-based national currency, a religion to which all belong: the Church of the Almighty Dollar. So strong is this religion, it has converted many throughout the world, who have lost faith in their own currencies.
The faithful
at prayer
The true believers gather together to worship the government, from whom all greenbacks flow. They read the sayings of Alan Greenspan, who decides how much money to create. They learn the names of his twelve disciples, the Governors of the twelve Federal Reserve Banks, who distribute this largesse to lesser banks, from where it trickles down to the faithful. Each service ends with a prayer for an increase in the money supply.
Money comes from on high, the faithful say. It is given value by those who are empowered to issue it. The Hierarchy under Pope Alan Greenspan, and his duly ordained bankers, have the power of transubstantiation. Instead of turning bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ, they turn new paper and accounting entries into money.
But they'd prefer we didn't see them do this. They don't perform their holy office in front of the congregation. When Alan Greenspan speaks, it's in some arcane scriptural language that few can understand.
They don't want us to know how
our money is made. "Hey, we're making funny money. And the
whole world is buying it!" We might lose our faith. So they
keep it a mystery.